When I was at Plumpton College we would often have to sample wine after wine for usually 90 mins or so - once these flights were finished you'd turn to your neighbour and "OH MY GOD! do my teeth look like that?"
Which leads me to attempting to answer my first question from Mike B who says...
"Right..... I need you to write a post on your blog that explains in detail how to drink red wine without ending up looking like a vampire bat that has just finished a meal whilst hanging upside down!!
I find that drinking from the bottle instead of using a glass helps but I think that is probably frowned upon as poor etiquette... X"
We've all been there, you're washing your hands in the restaurant bathroom having a lovely elegant evening and the vampire bat glares back at you from the mirror, so theres a couple of things you can do
*Grab some tissue and rub your teeth frantically - this old chestnut works, but you can end up coughing up tissue at the table. Elegant.
*Move onto white wine, it gets red wine out of the carpet and the same goes for your teeth!
*Brush ups, little minty tooth wipes you slip on your finger, you get them on long haul flights and motorway services
*Cheese! its got the perfect texture and it can help slowly get the tannin off your teeth, also wine + cheese = awesome
*DONT brush your teeth straight after drinking - the acid in the wine makes the enamel on your teeth porous so brushing can damage this much further
*Drink red before white, if you begin with white the acid erodes the enamel again - so the pigment in red wine has something to hold onto and make you lovely and monster mouthed
In order to prevent it happening in the first place...
*Vaseline, it works but you have the downside of actually having vaseline on your teeth - I cant imagine who actually does this but each to their own...
*Drink through a straw - it wont go down well with most wine lovers but models and actors have a habit of drinking coke, coffee, red wine etc through straws because when you suck the liquid up it goes to the back of your mouth instead of running over your teeth. It works but still... its a straw. And you probably aren't famous, and no, you cant get away with it.
*Move to a lighter less tannic red, Beaujolais or Pinot Noir is better for not staining your teeth than a really heavy Malbec or Cabernet.
But in all honesty, if you like red wine, deal with the stains. Oh and make sure you brush your teeth well twice a day like your mother told you to.
Theres always the expensive option of professional whitening if it gets too bad!
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